Pucking Sports

(ThisweekNewspapers) Apple Valley police officers responded to the ice arena at about 8 p.m. after receiving calls from people there that the Zamboni driver appeared to be intoxicated.

Upon arrival, officers observed the driver, a 34-year-old part-time arena employee, struggling to maneuver the Zamboni off the ice, according to police.

Police say the man was unsteady on his feet and smelled of alcohol. After submitting to field sobriety testing he was arrested for DWI.

No charges have been filed yet. A test of the driver’s blood-alcohol concentration taken Monday night at the Apple Valley Police Station has been sent to the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension’s lab for analysis.

Now this is a story to be proud of… I’ve heard of people getting DWIs on bikes and even on lawn mowers… but never while driving zambonis… this has to be a first… I wonder if he tried to drive away when the police showed up, just kept on driving through the boni garage and out the door onto the street… have a little cop-car/boni low speed chase

i bet the people called the cops because the boni missed one little sliver of ice and decided not to go back over it…. god didn’t that just piss ppl with OCD off if they missed the tiniest spot

-kinger

Mike Tyson is one of the best heavyweight fighters ever; however, the guy is crazy. From being convicted of rape to getting a tattoo on his face I don’t think anyone can dispute this. You do gotta love that he speaks whatever is on his mind though, which make for some great T.V. I know its a little lengthy but some of these interviews are hilarious.

-Hoff

i’m becoming more and more a fan of this kind of music… when i heard pretty lights/skrillex/avicii for the first time i was not impressed… but this stuff is really growin on me

-kinger

This simulation has correctly predicted 6 of the last 8 Super Bowl champs… fuck that stat, I’m 9-1 in my NFL playoff picks this postseason, and if you don’t believe me go back and look at my tweets before each weekend you numbskulls….

if Madden and I are right again I’ll be $100 richer…. booya tag em’ and bag ‘em

(YAHOO) – It’s one thing for professional athletes to have to make an ethical decision about using steroids, but college cheerleaders? Anna Watson has to be America’s strongest female cheerleader; the University of Georgia student loves spending time in the weight room, and it certainly shows. But she has more important things in her life: Watson passed up a big money fitness modeling contract because she refused to use a legal steroid. Watson has been cheering since age 5. She can bench press 155 pounds, squat 255 pounds and dead lift 230 pounds. According to the school newspaper, she added an impressive four inches of muscles on her arms in just 10 months.

The answer is yes… I would bang this chick… 1) just to say that I banged a chick that could literally whoop my ass and 2) it looks like it would be a great cardio workout and probably the best HJ of your life…

How in the world does this chick only bench 155? I was putting up 155 in 9th grade and I looked nothing like this…

Would getting a HJ from her break my dick off? I don’t know and I don’t really care but I would do anything to find out…

-Kinger

Everyones been to a wedding that has had its fair share of drunken fools. For these people, it was their uncle who had one too many sips from grandmas cough medicine. Poor guy, nobody will dance with him. Ill will give him an A for effort though, but an F for that landing.

-Hoff

New logo:

Old logo:

What really blows is now those millions of loyal, die-hard Carolina fans have to return all their Fatheads to get new ones. Man…I’d be livid…

NORTH MANKATO, Minn. (WCCO) – A news anchor for KEYC-TV in Mankato has been charged with driving while intoxicated, not long after a video showing her slurring through a newscast went viral.

According to the criminal complaint, 28-year-old Annie Stensrud was arrested in the city of North Mankato last December for probable cause DWI.

A witness called 911 to report the driver, and the call was transferred to Nicollet County dispatch. Nicollet County then sent one of their officers to pull her over.

Toxicology tests put her blood alcohol at 0.31, which is nearly four times the legal limit.

What do all you tardos have to say now? Still think she was having a seizure on air last time? That’s what I fuckin thought…. you all better never question me again.

-Kinger

you should bookmark this page for anytime you’re feeling down

Oh… my… fuckin… god…. I think I just found my calling. This is the type of work that I need to get into. I had no idea how awesome this trailer was gunna be before I clicked on it. I can already tell this will be my favorite movie of all time. I watched this like 5 times in a row giggling to myself like a little school girl every time they killed someone. “Thank you for turning off your cell phone” Its got comedy too! A dude that just goes around killing the people who every time you see in the media, you wish you could just blow their fucking brains out. Now we get to watch a movie about a guy and a chick who go around doing exactly that? They’re like a modern day Boondock Saints, only they kill people who are 10 times worse… Where do I sign up?

“DID YOU MOTHER FUCKIN POOP IN MY FOOD?!?!”

-kinger

god damn it, not another god damn “Shit__ say” video… and this might be even worse then the Shit Hockey Players Say video… definitely not original, and really has nothing to do with UST whatsoever… although we did get rated as the college with the hottest girls by Playboy Mag… this video is 5:24 too long…

-Hoff

This may or may not be the last broadcasting job of this guys career. Perhaps he should have watched this public service announcement….

Cant hack this guy for saying what he actually thought though, I mean it did sound a little…er….uhh… girlie? And how bout that awkward silence at the end. You tell em Duffy

-Hoff

Know anyone that should be a contestant on “You Gotta Puck One?” Send me their name, school, and about 5-6 good pictures to: TheWeeklyFix@yahoo.com

You Gotta Puck One – Week 3

You Gotta Puck One – Week 2

You Gotta Puck One – Week 1

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) – Novak Djokovic has that unbeatable feeling. And well he should.

The Serb outlasted Rafael Nadal to defend his Australian Open title in the longest ever Grand Slam final and became the fifth man to win three straight majors in the Open Era. Djokovic now has the French Open— the one major to elude him — in his sights. He won’t even rule out the ultimate: the Grand Slam.

“One player (Rod Laver) has done it, so it is possible,” he said after the traditional post-victory photo shoot in a downtown Melbourne park on Monday. “Obviously the times are different and tennis nowadays is much more competitive and much more physical. And that makes that challenge more difficult to achieve. But everything is possible.”

With the London Olympics to follow Wimbledon this year, Djokovic could even make it a Golden Slam by winning the gold medal at London 2012 to go with the four majors.

what a fun final that was to watch Sunday morning…. obviously i’m talkin bout the tape-version, I was still shit hammed drunk downtown like it was my job at 3am sunday morning. can’t even imagine participating in a 6 hour match for the ship. fuck that noise. did yall see Novak’s gf? yum… lets rate her on the scale below

I’ll give her a 3 out of 5 stars… what do you guys think?

(Celebs) – Christina Aguilera had a sickeningly embarrassing “wardrobe” malfunction while singing at Etta James’ funeral. The malfunction had nothing to do with what she had on. It was caused by what she had in–or didn’t have in–securely. The unspeakable malfunction occurred because her feminine protection product apparently failed her. Or to put it grossly and bluntly, her tampon or maxi pad leaked, and her period ran down her leg.

thats fuckin nasty… yo Christina… you sprung a leak. Can girls feel this shit happened? I feel like they should be able to realize when there is a stream of blood running from their vag down their leg…. and if thats the case, why the fuck didn’t she run off the stage to clean herself up? I’m sure people would understand

is this the most embarrassing thing that can happen to a chick? if not, what else would be worse?

awww look that dog can’t stay awake. how cuuute. ya right, you think Skeeter thinks this shit is cute. what a shit life. think about if you fell asleep every time you got excited. when you’re hungover as tits and just about to devour some Chipotle. when that Girls Gone Wild tv commercial finally comes on at 2 in the morning. or how bout when ur hookin up and the chick sticks her hand down your pants. boom. old cold. that shit would blow. never experiencing the true feeling of excitement. why couldn’t that shit be triggered by negative feelings. you would have the perfect excuse for the perfect life. teacher hands out the exam. boom. girlfriend wants to talk about your relationship. zZzZzZz. that would be great, sign me up for that.. but no… that shit that Skeeter’s got there would be pure torture.

saw this chick as a musical guest on SNL over winter break…she played this song and did a bunch of these dance moves on stage, needless to say i was a little freaked out. But the song ain’t that bad…its just this weirdo video. Not a single fuck was given during the entirety of this dance. Do u the director was like “ok…we rented this huge room with lights surrounding it, and we just want you do run around and think of dance moves that no one would ever even consider doing in real life…ok ready…go.” Gold. Pure gold.

is it impossible not to love KG…even though he left the Wolves in 2007 for Boston (who wouldn’t leave a MN team for a Boston team) he has gotta be one of my favorite NBA players. Always know what you’re gunna get, no bullshit. Just an emotional player who plays for the love of the game… not many players you can say that about. Would love to see him get one more ring before his career is over

fuckin love this video

ps if anything is possible.. is it possible for something to be impossible?

Fuck. Yes. Snoop. Snoop-a-loop. You my boy. If yall know me, you know i can’t stand reality tv shows now-a-days…and at the top of my list is this monotone speaking robot Kim Kardashian. Pretty sad that our society looks up to somebody who is famous for getting railed by Ray J…she wasn’t even good either she just laid there like a dead fish. I could go on and on but Snoop just summed it up…

let her do what she was born to do….hoe….yeah hoe….punk bitch.

Cant wait til the day “RIP Kim” is trending on twitter