Pucking Sports

(DM) Taylor Sauer, an 18 year old who was messaging every 90 seconds during her four-hour commute from Utah State University to her parents’ home on January 14, made a fatal mistake while behind the wheel. Her prolific last text was ‘Driving and facebooking is not safe! Haha.’ Seconds later, she slammed into a tanker truck at 80mph. Now, Ms Sauer’s grieving parents are hoping to use their daughter’s tragic story as a way to change driving laws, and make texting while driving in Idaho illegal. Ms Sauer, 18, was texting on the long drive to her parents’ house to ‘stay awake,’ her father Clay told the Today show, adding, ‘but that’s not a reason to do it.’ She was driving late at night down a stretch of flat highway, and was messaging her friend on Facebook about the Denver Broncos football team. Her last message was: ‘Driving and facebooking is not safe! Haha.’

The amount of irony in this story is overwhelming. How many times have you been on Facebook and seen someone posting every single fucking thought that pops into their tiny brain about every last emotion they’ve ever had? And every time you see a new status update or posted photo you want to delete their ass but are too lazy to try and go figure out how to do it so you just sit there wishing they would just die…

Women are inferior drivers to men… that’s just the way it is… so when you take a women driver and add women who Facebooks every last move they make during the day… the results are not going to be pretty… I am not for one second saying that this chick dying is in any way funny whatsoever but I do think I speak for all of her Facebook friends that they are relieved they have a little room to breathe in their news feed. Haha.

awesome… definitely gotta try this soon

(The Sun) DRINKER Dave Marriott faces being kicked out of his local club — because of his FLATULENCE. Dave, 49, was hauled before the committee after other members complained about the stink. He was told to stop — or be barred. Dave, a member for 30 years at Grange Villa Workmen’s Social Club, said: “There’s quite a bit of flatulence down the club and they seem to be cracking down — perhaps it’s because women are now allowed in the bar. “But I don’t purposefully blast in front of them. In fairness it’s not just me, but I’m probably the worst. “In the past, pub landlords have given me a pint for clearing the bar at closing time, but I’m not proud of myself. “I changed from Guinness to lager but it made no difference. Perhaps a chemist can give me something.” Dave said he held no grudge against the club — and found the matter “comical”.

If farting inside of bars is considered now to be frowned upon then the world as I know it just doesn’t make sense anymore… I mean I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been in the basement at Blarns and theres some dude (or chick) that thinks a good ole fashioned crop-dusting is hilarious (myself included) and I’m sure there are plenty of… bars should be a place where the farts flow freely… I mean thats just the way it is… shit just isn’t right

1:01 minute mark

Skip to 1:10 to get past the intros

both of them were sick as fuck… I thought the kid killed it more but the teacher won just because hes a teacher… still pretty sweet… every time I try to freestyle it always comes out the same…

“yo… yo… check it… check it… you think you cool? well you aint… you act like you in high schoool… yo… yo… check it…im out…”

Pete Ruiz of the Boston Red Sox just nails the impersonation of Baseball Tonight’s Tim Kurkjian

“did a little research last night and let me tell ya what I found… I found that in the month of July… on turf… games the were played on Tuesday before 7PM… Anthony Ranaudo led the entire Minor Leagues in batter avg. against holding hitters to a .165 stint… that is a fast track to the big leagues”