This is my new jam… god he makes one hell of a video… its become sort of Luke Bryan’s thing to put out an annual Spring Break LP… he’s gotta be right up there with Eric Church though right? … can’t fuckin wait to see both of them up at We Fest 2012… those two and Jason Aldean will probably be the only concerts I go to
At this point, there are a ton of players that are better than Ovechkin… the argument of Crosby or Ovechkin is dead
(Death and Taxes Mag) We know viral videos have been successful in helping procure dates with society’s most unattainable celebrities such as Mila Kunisand Justin Timberlake, but what about relentless Tweets?
That is what Mike “awesome” Stone is currently trying to find out, by using his Twitter account to spam every porn star he can find in an attempt to secure a prom date for May 12th.
The 18-year-old from Minnesota made news over the weekend when his exploits ended up on the front page of Reddit. Meaning what started as a young man’s personal quest quickly gained national exposure, and of course, criticism.
Unlike the YouTube videos created to attract the attention of Timberlake and Kunis, there is no specificity to his request and even less charm. Stone is simply playing a sheer numbers game by shamelessly propositioning every single porn star with a Twitter account. He is also promising to pay for dinner, a hotel room and a “personal massage.”
The only thing that makes Stone stand out amongst the thousands of other fans promising “personal massages” to porn stars is his stick-to-itiveness. He has already asked over 600 sex-extraordinaires to wear his corsage and make him the envy of all his friends. However the problem with his method is it seems extremely desperate and a touch creepy. By asking every porn star with whom he’s ever spent an intimate internet moment he diminishes the value of each proposal. It doesn’t matter how many double penetration scenes they have to their film credit, a girl wants to feel the love—asking all of her co-workers to prom as well doesn’t make anyone feel special.
So far at least one porn star, Emy Reyes, has been receptive to his incessant pleas, however, the plane ticket is a little outside Stone’s price range. So now he’s asking his Twitter followers to help finance the trip, which shows he’s getting a tad greedy from the attention he’s been given.
Finding a prom date your own age isn’t always an easy task, but convincing a porn star to fly to Minnesota is slightly more difficult. Nevertheless it takes significantly more courage to walk up to that cutie in Biology and ask her to be your date than anonymously begging porn stars via Twitter.
But we here at Death and Taxes are never ones to shit on a kid’s dream, so good luck Mike Stone and stay awesome. We hope you get your very own “personal massage.”
I don’t know what it is but there’s just something about blonde paraplegic chicks being thrown off cliffs in wheelchairs that gets me every time… can’t really explain it… just kind of makes you feel all warm and bubbly inside… like everything in this crazy messed up world is going to be okay… : )
PS if this were ancient Rome… she would not be attached to that bungee cord
Not sure if I will get enough people to get an worthwhile bracket going but we will give it a shot… so if your NCAA March Madness Bracket is currently sitting in your garbage can… here is a chance to redeem yourself…
Time is working against us as the first games begin this Friday, so if people want to get involved… they will need to get their money/brackets to me in the next 2 days…
$10/bracket… fill out as many as you want…
Each round of scoring will go 1, 2, 3, 4
Top 2 brackets will win money
Shoot me an email, tweet, or comment if you’re interested… right now I have about 5-10 people confirmed but 0 people paid… we should at least get close to 20 for a good pool
Include your name and information and how you would be able to get your payment in… if you need to mail it I will give you the address…
E-mail —-> theweeklyfix@yahoo.com
Twitter —-> @PuckingSports
I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive? yeah actually I do because I think this has to be fake as shit… no way that it is humanly possible to do this unless this dude either A. has no gag reflex or B. immediately puked that shit up right after… I mean think about it… a whole bottle of vodka in 15 seconds… I would be shitfaced if I finished a whole bottle by myself in one night
But then again if for some reason it is possible for this to happen… this seems like the exact guy that could do it… just some retard lookin dude makin youtube videos in his mommas basement… real or fake the dude is a fuckin quack… and did he spit up his own tooth there at the end?
Is there a better way to start off a hockey game then to have all 6 forwards square off and go at it right off the puck drop? The answer is no you cunt muscles… pretty embarrassing being from the state of Minnesota and I need to get my hockey fix from a game half way across the country. Oh the Mild won last night you say? Let me file that under “who gives a shit?” I look forward to the day when I am able to post something on here about our hometown team and how they are actually relevant in the Playoffs again… but something tells me that day may never come : |
