Pucking Sports

You think a cat would ever do this? Not a chance. Probably wouldn’t have even noticed they were gone.

Dogs > Cats Yep. K. Bye.

Not sure how I feel about this. It’s not great but it’s not terrible either. Feel like they could have done better. I mean when you’re combining one of the best songs ever created with Timeflies you kind of have to set the bar pretty high, don’t you? It’s still a good song don’t get me wrong. What do you guys think? Not that I give a shit though, at all.

(ESPN) A joint Louisiana state police and FBI task force is investigating allegations that the New Orleans Saintsset up general manager Mickey Loomis’ booth in the Superdome so he could listen in on opposing coaches. State police Col. Mike Edmonson confirmed the joint effort Tuesday after discussing the matter with Dave Welker, special agent in charge at the FBI’s New Orleans field office.

(USA Today) First, a somewhat surprising, last-second playoff ouster at the hands of the 49ers. Next the revelation and fallout from the infamous bounty program run by former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. And just yesterday, an ESPN report accusing GM Mickey Loomis of illegal monitoring coaching communications of opposing teams at the Superdome from 2002-04. Regarding the latest allegations about Loomis, who’s already been hit with an eight-game suspension for his role in Bountygate, fans in the Big Easy are rallying around the home team.

WhoDidDat? WhoDidDat? WeDid! It’s seriously just one thing after another with that rat hole of a city. It’s like one big ghetto down there, just do whatever the fuck you have to do to win with no concern of anyone else but yourself. Cheat, steal, injure, wiretap, you name it. It’s pretty pathetic if you ask me. And yeah I’m probably a little biased because they knocked us out of the playoffs in 2010 but you really can’t blame me after all the crap that’s come out the past couple weeks. And it’s pretty likely that this is just the tip of the iceberg of illegal practices that go on down there. By all means, I’m not so naive to think that they are the only guilty team. But I just hate ‘em, I hate ‘em, I hate ‘em.

I was down in the New Orleans for the 2011 Vikings Season Opener and as much fun as it was, it is definitely a city that you cannot spend more than a week in without wanting to get home and take an hour long shower. Kinda like my buddies farthole of a room at his college house, you just feel disgusting every time you spend more than 5 minutes in it. Bourbon Street was a blast for the most part, but I also witnessed numerous fights instigated by Saints fans towards people wearing Vikings gear and even saw a couple Vikes fans get spit on. Real classy bro. Not really sure what New Orleans has to offer to the rest of the country besides a place to go to find cheap hookers, party your dick off for a couple days, and hope you make it home without catching some sort of disease.

“I know many of you will not be attending the Mifflin event this year, and with good reason”

Who the fuck is she talking about there?

Dear Bitch,
 
As students of your university, we would all like to remind you that WE pay YOU. YOU work for US. Without us, there is no you. For you to tell us how to behave and to hold our eventual degrees over our heads is downright outrageous. You have the right to choose who you admit to the school, you have the right to hold us to certain academic standards. But you are outside of your pretentious mind to think that you have any right to tell us what to do outside of the classroom and off of your campus.
 
A degree is a symbol of ACADEMIC achievement, no more, no less. We have to perform up to a certain standard in the classroom to get one. But whatever our behavior is at night, on the weekends, or when school isn’t in session, whether it’s good, bad, or ugly, is none of your business. I don’t care about Codes of Conduct, fine print, and other legal mumbo-jumbo….to render any student’s academic achievements null and void because of actions unrelated to schoolwork is nothing short of criminal. At very least, any student punished that way should at least be entitled to a full refund of all tuition and school fees. Anything otherwise is theft in my book. You can’t just take money for a service not ultimately rendered. And make no mistake about it, any academic institution is a SERVICE. We’re BUYING a degree more than we’re earning it.
 
But you need to take a good hard look in the mirror. Fucking some poor kid’s life up because he was partying, or got arrested or whatever, is so unjust you literally need to be crazy to think it’s reasonable. So instead of knocking us, put on something low-cut, head on over to mifflin street, and find someone 18 coronas deep to take you home, crack your rusty old vag open with an oyster shucker, and fuck the stupidity out of you before crying himself to sleep.
 
Sincerely,
Badger Nation

I still haven’t had the chance to go check out Madison’s Mifflin block party yet. And after watching this video, I can’t think of any better way to end the school year then to party my fucking dick off at Mifflin. This might be the best unintentional advertisement for a massive college party that I have ever seen. Just giving the students from neighboring states exactly what they’ve been looking for, a reason to go this year. Just to spite the shit out of this bimbo. Are you out of your god damn mind? How did no one on the Dean of Student’s staff tell her that this was a terrible idea that would undoubtedly backfire? How can someone so naïve be in charge of so many people? I wish the U of M administrators were this dumb and did something like this to hype up Spring Jam.

I am just so excited now. Has anybody made “Please Don’t Go” shirts yet? If so, where can I buy one? I need one and I needed it yesterday.

And what the hell is she talking about with the Cinco de Mayo shirts being disrespectful? I seriously cannot figure it out. Because Bucky is wearing a sombrero? Because it says Cinco de Mifflin? Ummm… okay? I don’t get it. Help?

Mike Posner Instrumental Remix

MADISON, Wis. (CBSDC) – A video captured a woman shaking and sobbing uncontrollably while being frisked by a Transportation Security Administration agent.  The video shows a TSA agent patting down a woman in a pink sweater.  During the pat down, the woman can be heard sobbing and is visibly shaking while the TSA agents runs her hands down the woman’s legs. After the agent leaves, the woman simply stands still, hunched over.

Listen up you overreacting, stupid cunt. If you don’t want to get patted down for illegal weapons, then don’t fucking fly in our country. It’s that simple. Every time I hear the TSA coming under fire for doing their job of keeping our country safe it absolutely disgusts me. These are the types of people I wish are on planes when they actually do get highjacked. I’d like to see how much you are crying then. And then we got people blaming Obama for TSA’s searches as if it’s him who is personally groping every other broad to ever go through TSA. Chill the fuck out. I’m sure the TSA attendant stuck patting down this assfart enjoys it 100 times less than they do, and you don’t see her crying uncontrollably. It’s probably the first and only time you will ever be groped by anyone. Male or female. This is the exact type of fat bitch who is out walking her little gay dog and tells you to slow down when you’re doing 36 in a 35. The same type of fat bitch who coughs uncontrollably when she walks by someone having a smoke outside a bar. Just a disease to the advancement of society.

Somebody get this guy a beer, stogie, and a hooker. Stat.

(CNBC) New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow has a new challenge on his hands. AshleyMadison.com, a Web site that matches married people to pursue affairs, is offering $1 million to any woman who can prove she has had sex with the devout Christian, who has insisted he is still a virgin and will wait until he is married. “Sports and sex (and of course, infidelity) go hand in hand,” said Noel Biderman, founder of Ashley Madison, in a statement. “If Mr. Tebow is indeed abstaining from adult relationships, I would encourage him to find a nice lady or two and enjoy his youth and fame as much as possible.” Biderman will pay $1 million to any woman who can prove she sacked Tebow in bed and the offer extends through his first season in New York. Said Biderman: “I guarantee that no man of Tebow’s stature could survive a season in New York without succumbing to the temptations of the city.”

Looks like Timmy T’s run of self-proclaimed virginity has finally ended. That is, unless, he is willing to fork over more than $1 Million to each of the girls that he has undoubtedly nailed in his 4 years at Florida. There is zero chance that Tebow has abstained from sex his entire life, I just don’t buy it or think it is in any way possible. It might be for us regular folk who aren’t having millions of women throw themselves at us on the reg every night, but not for someone of that stature. I wouldn’t be surprised one bit when like 100 different girls all come out with detailed emails and text messages n shit from Tebow that include written contracts of some sort that they’ve had to sign before being allowed anywhere near his schlong. It will be nice to find out once and for all if Tebow in fact has a penis.

If Tebow really is still a virgin. Then this $1 Million bounty that has just been placed on his penis is about to make this whole year in New York the worst of his life. Just imagine if there was a reward of $1 Million offered to any chick who is successful at getting you to fuck when you are dead set on waiting. I wouldn’t wish that shit on my worst enemies.

The rules of the gym are short and sweet.

1. Stop staring at yourself in the mirror.

2. Stop staring at me in the mirror.

3. Don’t offer me advice on how to do my shit

4. Keep the nakedness in the sauna/locker room/steam room to a minimum.

5. Ladies: If you wear skimpy outfits, I am going to stare. But remember, going to the gym is not a night out… there’s no fucking reason to get dolled up with make-up and shit. That just looks trashy.

6. Yoga pants

The Vancouver jokes will seriously never get old. I could read/watch shit like this year round and still find it just as funny.

Which hurts more? Winning the President’s Trophy two years in a row and then shitting the bed in the playoffs? Or just avoid the embarrassment by staying away from the playoffs altogether for 4 straight years like the Wild have done. #Smart

Two great pictures have been going viral from this weekend… the first of which is 100% real. Had plenty of witnesses of these two straight having sex on the hood of a car at Iowa State’s Veishea. I just can’t get over how this happened… so many questions right now. What were the events that led up to this? What kind of drugs are these two people on? Where can I buy said drugs? Were they eventually arrested? Is that really how they dress in Iowa?

Here is the second one…

This one was claimed to also be from Veishea. But a simple search of “Alyssa Bloechl” on Twitter brought me to her page where I found out she goes to UW-Plattville and she’s been answering a bunch of people’s questions saying it was published in her school’s satirical newspaper. So there you go.

Dead. Bitches ain’t aerodynamic. This shit screams web redemption on Tosh.O. It’d be a damn shame is this chick was a quad now. There aren’t enough broads out there willing to do this type of shit when hammed.

PS Pause it at 0:22…

Like I totally agree that this homeless dude got exactly what was comin to him but you still can’t help but feel bad for the guy seein his motionless body just lyin there with a bunch of people dancing around it robbing him. It’s not like the dude was some innocent bystander caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. As long as these two groups of people stick to fighting each other, Darwinism will eventually prevail in the end.

Not sure why the beginning and title of this video tells us that this kid is drunk. I spent the first half of the vid trying to tell if he actually was or not. What, he had like 3 beers? But that’s neither here nor there. 90% of those impressions were just spot on. Kind of went a little overboard with the Bill Clinton and I got bored with the Notorious B.I.G. spiel, but he absolutely nailed every other one. My favorites were the Family Guy one doing Peter and Louis and then the King of the Hill with Hank and Bobby. Move over Frank Caliendo… there’s a new gap-toothed impersonator in town

PS #NationalDrinkDuringClassDay

National Drink During Class Day – Thursday, April 19th

And everybody remember where this idea originated … right here from yours truly. Remember to use the hashtag #NationalDrinkDuringClassDay every time you send a tweet tomorrow. I want to encourage everyone to send me a picture of the crazy ideas they come up with to pull off drinking during class. Whether it be drinking from a flask from the back row, putting a beer can inside of a large soft drink container, or just putting a mixer inside your water bottle. My hope is to post as many pictures as possible tomorrow.

Tweet pictures to @PuckingSports or Email pictures to TheWeeklyFix@yahoo.com

Check out the original post here #NationlDrinkDuringClassDay

Fuck that noise, never been so depressed about growing up til after watching this video… 24 looks awful. I want to go to college for the rest of my life, and not do a single thing mentioned in that song. 24 is the age that everyone migrates from the  Dinkytown bars to the Uptown bars. I was on a party bus that started out in Uptown last weekend and it is seriously like a graveyard for college students that were once happy with their lives. Could not wait to get back to my old stomping grounds of Blarney and the Library… back where the drinks are less than $3 and the chick’s standards decrease proportionally with every Scooby Snack shot you buy for them.

If I end up losing my hair, it’s game over… might as well end my life right there.

You Gotta Puck One – Week 8

You Gotta Puck One – Week 7

You Gotta Puck One – Week 6

You Gotta Puck One – Week 4

You Gotta Puck One – Week 3

You Gotta Puck One – Week 2

You Gotta Puck One – Week 1

Meghan

Kristy

This guy is my fucking hero… felt pretty bad for that chick that actually wanted to go out with him though. She is now about to be seen by millions of people once these vids go viral falling for this dumbass prank.

Does anybody actually do this anymore? Like all you hear about from older people is “If you like somebody, you should just go talk to them and ask them out, don’t be shy” … I gotta think that in this day in age if somebody actually did this it would be considered the creepiest fucking thing ever. You don’t just go up and talk to a cute girl/boy. You stare at them for awhile. Try and get as much info as possible. Then hope to see them out at the bars while you’re both shitfaced drunk so you can say “Don’t I know you from somewhere?!?!”

PS lmao at the guy at 1:38 walking outside

Pretty sure that shit has happened to everyone and when it does you just feel like the biggest dumbass thinking that some stranger actually might have wanted to say hi to you