Archive for May 1, 2012

(FleshLiPad) Most apple fanboys out there would LOVE to stick their peenors into their precious ipads. Seriously, they would. Well this is a concept for the fleshlipad holder which would take your overused fleshlight and turn it into a high tech instrument of digital fap fap fappery.

It seems like its getting more and more difficult for chicks to compete with porn and technology. Pretty soon guys aren’t gunna give a shit when they go home empty handed from the bar, knowing they got their handy dandy iPad fleshlight waiting for them when they get home. It won’t be long until human interaction is a thing of the past. People just staying home fucking inanimate objects on the reg. This thing comes fully equipped with features such as not being able to talk back, not requiring hours of time, money, and attention; and best of all, it won’t be upset when you only last 45 seconds.

(Keepin’ It Country) In an interview with Rolling Stone, country music rocker Eric Church seems to get just a little carried away. Eric, who supported Miranda Lambert on her 2010 “CMT  On Tour: Revolution” headlining tour, slams Blake Shelton, American Idol, and The Voice. Eric takes a hit against American Idol and reality show television, saying that the country music industry is filled with talent from reality competitions – saying that trying out for a show like The Voice means you aren’t a true artist. In the interview, Eric says:

“It’s become American Idol gone mad. Honestly, if Blake Shelton and Cee Lo Green fucking turn around in a red chair, you get a deal? That’s crazy. I don’t know what would make an artist do that. You’re not an artist.”

Eric wasn’t done just yet. He takes a little dig at Blake, who is a coach on the highly successful The Voice, and says that anyone who’s career depends on something outside their music then they also aren’t a real artist.

“If I was concerned about my legacy, there’s no fucking way I would ever sit there [and be a reality-show judge]. Once your career becomes something other than the music, then that’s what it is. I’ll never make that mistake. I don’t care if I fucking starve.”

In case that wasn’t enough, the “Country Music Jesus” singer also had a few things to say about rock fans and Lollapalooza:

“Rock & Roll has been very emo or whatever the f—. It’s very hipster. We played Lollapalooza and I was stunned at how pussy 90 percent of those bands were. Nobody’s loud. It’s all very f—-n’ Peter, Paul and Mary sh–.”

Fuckin’ right. It’s about time someone finally sounded off about these retarded reality shows that keep multiplying at the same rate of the number of Antonio Cromartie’s baby’s mommas. I’ve heard mixed opinion over the past 24 hours on whether or not these comments were warranted. People saying it was uncalled for attacking fellow country artists who have helped him in his past. I say fuck that. If we don’t have true country artists sticking up for what they believe the music truly is and has been about then it’s only a matter of time before more talentless Rebecca Black’s start turning up. What ever happened to putting the music and fans first? I enjoy most of Blake Shelton’s music and think he’s a pretty solid artist, but I too lost respect for him as soon as he agreed to go on that show. Blake Shelton has cancelled concerts because of The Voice.

Eric Church has definitely earned his right to speak his mind about the state of country music. It’s just another reason why I believe he will be one of the greatest country artists of all time along with the artists he sings about such as Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, and Willie Nelson. You guys can keep your country pop music like Rascal Flatts and I’ll stick with mine.

PS I love how I haven’t heard a peep from anyone defending Cee Lo Green. In what fucking world would someone give this guy a deal to be a judge on The Voice and perform at the Super Bowl? Sometimes I feel like the music industry puts out the most repulsive artists just to fuck with us and laugh in our faces when people accept them as talented.

I mean just look at this fucking parakeet. I think I have more talent in and could put on a better show with just my ball sack.