By now, I’m sure you’ve probably heard my feelings about May 5th Mifflin Street block party. Or seen the autotune or dubstep remixes.
My video debut wasn’t elegant, but I want you to know that I’ve spent the past week listening to your feedback about the event and how approach it this year, and in the future. Today, I have a few final thoughts about it, and you’re free to agree or disagree with them. But I continue this conversation for one reason: As dean, I’m always concerned for your safety.
I continue to believe there are many better things you could do with your Saturday than spend it at an outdoor drinking party. If you need inspiration, head to the lakes, go to the farmers’ market or take a look at our campus events calendar
(The original e-mail is a couple paragraphs longer, just her reminding everyone of UW’s policies, blah blah blah)
Thanks for listening,
Dean of Students
Maybe spend the weekend volunteering at the local food shelter. Why not stay in with a friend or two telling jokes or swapping fascinating folk tales while sipping hot cocoa. Or how bout finding a nice tree to sit under with your favorite book? Basically just suggesting ideas that college kids wouldn’t even consider on any other weekend of the year.
When will Mrs. Berquam learn her lesson that college kids and her opinion on partying just don’t mix. She easily could have just shut her big yapper and let this whole debacle disappear. But no, the day before the weekend of Mifflin she has to go and send out a mass e-mail to every single student providing them with that extra motivation and reminder that partying their dicks off this year at Mifflin is a must.
The only way for Lori to redeem her dignity and gain back the respect from the students would be to get her old saggy tits down to Mifflin Street this weekend for a beer bong or two. Until then, fuck outta mah face and hold mah dick!
* If anyone comes across something at Mifflin that even comes close to these infamous pictures from Spring Jam and Veishea, Tweet me dat shit ASAP @PuckingSports or PuckingSports@yahoo.com