(The Smoking Gun) Meet Aaron Morris. The 18-year-old Floridian is sitting in a Broward County jail cell due to poor impulse control. Specifically, Morris is accused of groping a woman’s buttocks outside a dressing room at a Walmart in North Lauderdale. The teenager, pictured in the adjacent mug shot, was arrested shortly after the incident Thursday evening. During questioning by law enforcement, Morris copped to grabbing the victim’s rear end and provided an explanation, of sorts, for his behavior, according to a sheriff’s report. “Her booty looked so good,” he noted, “I just couldn’t resist touching it.” Locked up in lieu of $1000 bail, Morris has been charged with touch or strike/battery, a misdemeanor.
Aaron Morris is a true visionary. In my mind, Aaron Morris is a modern day Rosa Parks. Taking it upon himself to take a stand for men everywhere. He has a dream for this world. The same dream all men share. A world where it is okay to reach out and grab a booty that looks so good you just can’t resist touching. Let’s each take this moment to make ourselves a pledge that we will go out there and live our lives in Aaron’s honor. We need to tear down the constraints of society that say it is not socially acceptable to be able to grab fat booties that are just begging to be grabbed. I can’t think of a better compliment to give someone than to walk by and give their booty a little jiggle. Just a small gesture that tells you sincerely how much we appreciate you and your booty. That’s truly one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
-Kinger
